All the Food is Poison

A long, long time ago in a health class far, far away, a teacher warned her students about the importance of eating whole foods. She explained that our growing bodies were like houses being built with what we put in our body.  Shitty materials will give you a shoddy structure, a fast food, fast-tract house built with ticky-tacky and corn syrup.

Unfortunately, I disregarded this advice and practically built my house out of poison with a steady diet of Arizona Green Tea and Dark Chocolate M&Ms. It’s my estimate that practically everything I ate between 17 and 22 contained corn syrup, soy, and a cocktail of other horrifying additives that have no nutritional value.

Then I got sick.  Gradually at first, just a small rash on my neck. And then it spread to my chest. My arms. My back. My ass. My face was ravaged with dry wrinkly skin. My stomach bloated and hurt. I itched. I lost sleep. I went to several doctors and dermatologists and allergists threatening to jump off a bridge if I didn’t find some relief. After many years and many doctors all that we’ve found is that my illness lies somewhere between severe food intolerance and lupus (which is bullshit, because, it’s never lupus, right?), and the only thing that seems to help is a whole-food, plant-based Paleo lifestyle supplemented with meat, and very limited fruit allowance.

How I feel the more I learn about the food and drug industry:

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